Note: Poet Warriors write with truth and purpose; this poem contains strong language, graphic details or sensitive subject matter.

After Thought’s

By Karenza Shepherd

The emptiness you left behind could haunt casper

The heart already broken from the empty space

To always dream about you but never touch your image

One glance and I’m sunken into another somer night

“Why would i be the only one you turn away from”?

Shaken once too many time’s

Not even able to scream “wait don’t go”

love so far from my mind blocking the vision of you

Leaving me needing comfort to take your place

sounds of bells ringing from left to right

Ding Dong, Ding Dong clock’s stop, heart’s sink

I loved you from here to the moon

You loved me from one to nine months in the womb

One word could stop the pain

One word could stop the blood shed

One word could have stopped the blades to my heart

Uttered words left unspoken needing a resting place

Beer clouded the brain cutting me out

“Help”! was what i cried

No answer was what i got instead

Beer took my place in his left lobe brain

He left me lonely and undecided on life

Maybe it was time to cash my check on rock crystal’s

Stay sleeping stuck in steep steel shots

Long moon salon boots lonely souls crossing together

Innocence lost from trying to replace an unwanted ghost

Yet the look of unwillingness shown in my eyes

Money still in my pocket but from whom?

Everyday someone new pops in and out leaving only sights of hundred’s

and smells of sexual distaste and bleach to my now new skin

“Stop”! “Help”! “Leave me alone”! All i hear in my so called dreams

“Death is only on my mind since the last day you waved me goodbye!

Silent water fall’s flow down my face till I’m as dry as the sahara dessert

I create an alter ego to hide the real true me the one who will beat up 1,000 men

Love is the only thing i want in my heart but hatred is the only thing my brain feels

Silence is my new motto the less people you trust the less sadness and pain felt

My heart is now like an invisible shield protecting my heart and honor from disease ridden invaders trying to tear and break down my souls

Wanting to feel safe in your arms once again

Just wanting to feel safe in your arms once again

Left alone to search for an escape root ripping the veins from my body

Finally realizing i can never have you back

Just walk by you like a stranger i’ve never met.