By Jocelyn Zapata

I get judged,

I get bullied,

yet they don’t even know the reason why

my own family keeps secrets from me,

yet I found them out,

Is everyone I know keeping these secrets?

Who knows.
I have a half brother named Juan,

I didn’t know that I had him,

One secret down,

more to go
everyone I see is happy,

except for me,

I am sad, depressed,

I have anxiety and I’m alone
I regret that day that I made the first cut,

But I will get strong eventually
For now I will fake a smile,

I will always show my tears,

and you know what?
with my great attitude

I will rise,

I will fall,

when I fall I keep cutting
I don’t know why I keep going,

I have these disgusting looks,

these burn scars,
this bipolar disorder,

and my depression,

I feel like I should just leave
I mean everyone will be happy right?

my so called parents will be happy

that there no good daughter left
my “siblings” will be happy,

EVERYONE will celebrate,

what will I be doing in heaven?

I will be
reunited with my grandparents,

the grandpa I never met,

the grandma I only had for a short time,

they will wonder why I had left the physical world,

I won’t tell them a lie, only the truth,

until I see them and go into the afterlife

I will have to stay in this physical world we call Earth
You see? you’re a freak,

like ME and yes
I Jocelyn Zapata-Chavez am suicidal