My Worst Fear

By Mariela Olvera

 

I used to have this thought about my mom

“Death, Death, Death”

She couldn’t move her face to the side

Without saying her last words to me.

 

In my arms

Would lie her body

Me

Freaking out at her motionless body

Feeling her skin like stone

 

Je T’aime, Je T’aime

 

Me, shouting her name

Calling her to wake up

‘till I feel her soul warm me up

Making me smile

But doesn’t take me with it

 

Watery rivers fall down my cheeks

Blurring my eyes

Tasting the sourness of my tears

They’ll just keep on splashing

Endlessly on the ground

‘Till she was buried

And I will fall into the darkness

Making the darkness swallow me with it

 

Je T’aime, Je T’aime

Is all I would say

I’ll never forget

My first kiss

My first hug

My first home

My first life

All those things

She gave me

And bought me

 

Je T’aime, Je T’aime

That is what

I’ll tell her

Everyday  and  every night.

 

I’ll write her poems, songs,

Anything for my mom

 

That is why

When I wake up

And see my mom

Curled up in her bed

Breathing

I say

“Thank you my Lord”.