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By: Vaew Chang

When we first moved from the north to the south
she was the first one to come about
when we first saw her
my mom said, “OOH, niam tais poj dab tuaj lawm!”
We giggled because she did looked like a witch.
She had blue eye shadow
all over her eyelids
her lips were as red as a ruby.
For her elephant skin looked soft
instead of gray and rough.
She was actually beautiful if she didn’t have
that layer of make-up.

She was old and strict.
My brothers and I would always insist
to play outside when she’s not around.

She would always tell us what’s
right or wrong
boss us around cause back then,
I was not as strong
trying to keep us as mannered as her.

One time when we held a shaman ceremony,
with cars parked on our backyard,
she softly staggered out to tell my cousins something.
Her rage, honesty, and morality slid with her words.
“You can’t park on the grass, you’ll kill them all!”
Her eyelids, still blue as the sky on that sunny day
her lips still drenched in red
her posture, strong and serious
but a little hunched.
My uncle waved her off, with beer in hand,
drunk eyes
“It’s ok, why don’t you mind your own business…”

I guess she don’t know about us
how we do weird things
aside from the others
Always slaughtering chickens every December
not knowing if that bothered her
Canceling the constant contact
we used to have a while back.

One day I came home
from school. And
my mother passively said,
“…there was an ambulance outside today…”
After that day on…
I never saw her again
I knew what happened obviously.
At first I was glad she’s gone
but I was disappointed
I lost someone I was so shady towards
when she was trying her best to be the sun
for the Chang, Asian family
in this quiet, mostly African American neighborhood.
I could’ve been more open
if I wasn’t so sucked into the prejudice
the judgements and criticism
I grew up with
when we first moved in…